Make a Difference

 Leaving is never easy but sometimes necessary. My alma mater has the mission statement: Educating students to become servants of Christ to make a difference in today's world. This mission statement has been the strive of the school as well as its students for many years. Today, it is my turn to make a difference. I always strove to make a difference in people's lives day by day (with some days easier than others) at school, and I thought that I would continue that through employment at the school. How short-sighted was I! Though I had many plans for my life, God had and has a better one. Today, I left my alma mater. Not just graduated, but I found employment elsewhere. 

Tomorrow I start a new journey at the Transformation Center in Chattanooga. There I will help clients by matching them with counselors, doing their intake and referral forms, and welcoming them as they come in or call. This is a step in the direction of how I want to use my current and future degrees. I want to help people and make a difference in today's world. Sometimes that world is one person other times it is a community. I am sad to leave my home of four and a half years, but everything has its season. 

To those that have been there for me at Bryan and have supported me anywhere from my freshman year to today (10/28/21), thank you. I could not have been in the position and mindset that I am in without you. I will miss you all terribly, but know that I will continue to pray for all of you that you stay well and that God continues to bless you! I cannot imagine where I would be if it were not for all of you. Thank you all again. 

With that folks, it is time for my new journey to begin. Many things are to come in this next couple of years, and I am so excited to see them all come together! God has taught me to abide in him and let go of control, and it has been a blessing to do so. 

May God bless and keep you.

Psalm 46

The Lord of Hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress 

Psalm 46:11

 

Tonight, I write from a contrite heart. After months of job hunting, I am still without a job for after the Summer. I am going to be honest from my side because that is what I have. I have been hurt many times by the place that I have called home for the last four years. I do not blame most people in this place as I still respect the people who have had to make a decision to go with another candidate or have to close a position before it opens for me to apply. They are doing their jobs and I understand that. What I am hurt by is the amount that I have been strung along with false hopes and promises these past few months. I have been hyped up only to be dropped down again. I have been looked in the eyes by the Vice President of Academics and told that I "do not have enough passion" for positions at my home for the past four years. I have been summed up and judged without a second glance. I have been deemed not worthy by some and I have been overestimated by others. I am only who I am, who God made me to be. 

After my final 'No' from my alma mater, I will be leaving my home by the end of the week. This has lead me to feel bitter and depressed. I do not necessarily enjoy change, but I have not really been one to run away from it when it is necessary. Though now, I find it harder to leave because of all that I have put into this place. The bitterness is from above, but the darkness that surrounds me? It is crushing. I feel as though I have failed, but God keeps pulling me back and tells me that he has something better for me. That he did not plan for me to stay at my school. 

Psalm 46 has been a comfort. As you can see above, it is a good reminder. This verse, verse 11 that is, comes directly after one of people's favorite verses of all: Psalm 46:10, "'Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!'" These two verses show the power and majesty of God. Who am I that I should question it? But in my flesh, I tend to forget and think that it has to be all on me. I ask for prayers, but then I let my anxiety rule. I become bitter when I do not get the job. How am I supposed to get the job when I put myself first and not God? As experienced, I am not. God will put me where he wants me, I have no doubt, but this fire of trial is getting hotter and hotter everyday. Thank you Lord of Hosts for being in the fire with me though. 

Thank you all for reading my rant and my processing. May God bless you and keep you. 

P.S. I highly recommend listening to Psalm 46 by Shane and Shane. My beautiful girlfriend introduced me to it and if you read the chapter as it plays in the background, you can gleam some more truths from it. 

One Year Later

 It has been one year since Covid-19 had been made a pandemic by the CDC and WHO. One year ago today, March 12, my school made the announcement that we would be staying home for an additional week after Spring Break and we would be having class online that week. Little did we really know that when we left that next day, we would not be coming back. I remember seeing people in the Triangle through the windows of OSL talking to their friends, crying, hugging, and looing around as if it were the last time they would see it all again. I was not the only one to see this, nor were they the only ones feeling that way. I tried to keep a positive outlook as my word for the year 2020 was Optimism (I know, a heck of a year for that word). The next day, Friday, March 13, my school all came together to sing at what would be our very last corporate worship. We sang about God's goodness and how no matter what, he has been so so good. The song that broke me was "Goodness of God" by Bethel Music and Jenn Johnson. When we sang this song, I broke down and wept at what I was about to lose. I cried out to God to not let it happen and for me to do what he had called me to do with Service Day and the other things that I was to do the remainder of that semester! I sat in my seat shaking due to my uncontrollable tears. I began the mourning process as I sang this song through broken breaths. I did this until we got towards the end of the song and then I was convicted to trust God throughout the process of disaster that I and my friends and family were about to face. The bridge, as shown below, hit hard and I was able to surrender whatever happened to God. 

'Cause Your goodness is running after

It's running after me

Your goodness is running after

It's running after me

With my life laid down

I'm surrendered now

I give You everything

'Cause Your goodness is running after

It keeps running after me

This did not mean that I was not to mourn for what I was about to lose, but that I knew that God had it under control. As I waited for everything to be cancelled, I worked faithfully until I got the call from my boss telling me that it had to be cancelled. When that news came, I had almost two days to cancel the 32 projects I had organized, and when I thought it was over, it got worse. You see, for my project we would have had to extend online learning for two more weeks than originally planned, which we did. However, as my boss and I were canceling projects, we got an email from Student Life saying that we will not be returning back to the campus but instead will be pivoting indefinitely to online learning for the rest of the semester. 

After being home since the middle of March to the beginning of August, it was so different to be back on a college campus in person. My senior year has had its rides and stops, its ups and downs, but most importantly it has had my God right beside me through it all. I have had to make some tough decisions this year for myself. I have had to grow and make choices that will effect my future. I have made great additions to my life, including my wonderful girlfriend, that help me grow closer to Christ everyday. 

It has been one year since the entire world changed. Now that we have a light at the end of the tunnel, how long will it be until it is broken again? Are you ready for it to be broken again? What brought you through 2020? Was it Jesus? Will it ever be Jesus? God bless you all! Let us not be weary for another closing but be hopeful towards the open arms of Jesus! 

Another Quarankingdom Story: A Movement to Isolation

 On Friday, 11/20/20, I started to not feel so good. At first, I thought it was allergies because it is that time of the year, but I was wrong. I let my boss and professors know that I was not going to be at any meetings that day that I had planned on being at and that I was going to be tested for Covid-19. I contacted my school's health email and got direction as to where I was to go get tested. I went to Rhea County's Health Department and after three hours, I finally got my nose swabbed. 

As I was in line, I started to feel wobbly and not able to really drive for a long period of time. The health team at Bryan wanted me to go into quarantine until I at least got my results back, but with it being so close to the end of the semester, my mom and I decided it would be best for me to come home. I had to have my mom and bonus dad to come pick me up as, like I said, I was not up to drive for 3 hours. 

I came home to my room where I have been for most of my time here so far. On Saturday, I got my results back and they said that I was Positive for Covid-19. My symptoms are mild and not too much to complain about. It feels like a severe sinus infection: stuffy nose, headache, and clogged ears (kinda like when they do not pop when coming off a mountain). I am noticeably more tired than I usually am and my breathing is harder as well. For right now, I have to watch what I eat lest I want to return it. I can do a lot of things like shower, write a blog, walk to the kitchen to get water, and such, but then I do need to sit down for a moment to get my bearings. (As I am writing this, I just got a call from Rhea County Health Department to ensure that the results I saw were correct: I am positive for Corona.) 

So, now the Quarankingdom is populated again with people that I know. I have a couple of friends that are positive for Corona and many others that are in quarantine because of these cases. The quaranpeeps will reunite (socially distant that is) and have fun while we all await our sentences in this kingdom. 

The main thing about this is, God is still in control. What makes this better than last time is that I am home and am able to have some communication with people on a day to day basis. God will still teach me things while I am in this isolation and I hope He does the same for my friends. 

As always, prayers are appreciated. God bless you all! 

The Election Results are In!

 Today is the day that many people in the United States have been eyeing for many months. Today is Election Day. Many people are anxious and stressed over this election to see which candidate holds the highest government office in the United States. Like many others, this is my first ever presidential election that I was able to participate in. 

My experience was probably not the most orthodoxic as I did not early vote or even vote in person but through an absentee ballot. My vote has been received since 5 October 2020, and I have felt the pressure of the results lifted from me as I did my civic duty. But voting for the election was not the only reason the stress was lifted from me. Why? Because no matter who becomes the next President of the United States, I know the King of the Universe. 

Sometimes, with all the people worried about the election, I wonder if people really trust God to put into place who He wants in place. Romans 13 tells us that "there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God." What Paul is writing about is the marks of a true Christian. He tells us to follow God, be kind, quiet, genuine, kind and submissive to the government as long as the government does not try to supersede God. What I see are people being extremely vocal about candidates and how they are the ones going to change America. I am sorry, but I did not know Jesus was running for office. You see, only Jesus can change this nation and world. He will use people like us to change it, yes, but we can do absolutely nothing aside from Christ. 

I hear people say that we are only voting between the lesser of two evils. You are 100% correct. Every man is fallen from God and is in need of salvation. Therefore, we are going to be choosing between the two (or more) evils. So what do we do as Christians in a political world? Here are a few things to keep in mind when voting anytime: 

• Do not just look at the party, look at the person. There are some that run on a platform and do the complete opposite in their personal and professional lives and some run on a platform that they mostly agree on except for one issue. 
• Read the Bible and research what we are called to do as believers. Let this guide you to who to vote for. Who is planning on doing these things you have researched? 
• Do not trust the government to do the things that you researched. Instead, do it yourself with your church. think the government needs to help the foster care system and widows (like I do)? Then set up a ministry within your church or join one that has something like that. 
• Research, Research, RESEARCH! Go to websites like Ballotpedia, your local election office website (for sample ballots), campaign websites, etc. 
• And if you are up to it, there was a debate at Bryan College where four Believers talked about their different political views and how their beliefs drove them to that viewpoint. The link is https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=405033184220136 
• As always, pray. Pray for God to show you who to vote for. Pray for peace. Pray for people to see God in this time by you and other believers. 

The best thing that we can all do right now and as the results roll in tonight is pray and be quiet. Let us not be puffed up in our flesh but let the Spirit guide us to what we do. Let us not fight over who we all voted for but instead rejoice that Jesus Christ is on the Throne. 

So, yes, the results are in: Jesus is King. Are you following His rule? 

Calling

 I have only been busier since I left the Quarankingdom, but that is for all the better. I have put more hours towards my internship and am even closer to finishing my first semester of senior year. 

In a meeting today for the group Engage, we learned more about leadership and what servant leadership is. When the lesson was done, our director of student outreach came up and asked us to be servant leaders. She asked to follow her because we are called to our passions and places and want to serve them in any way that we can. She said that Engage will not be the same come next semester due to bigger and better changes. These changes will require us to be on board and not try to be offended if our own initiatives change. This hit me later on this evening as I realized that I will comply with this request not because she asked but because of what I am called to do.

 You see, I am not called to a person but to a purpose. 

I believe that all people are called to a purpose and not a person, but what really is the difference? First, I would like to begin that all purposes are God given. These purposes will not contradict his Word and is something that can be confirmed through prayer, reading of scripture, and mentorship. 

A person that follows only a person (they may feel as if they are called to them, but I do not think this to be the case) no matter where that person goes, good or bad. These people will make excuses for someone's misbehavior and words. They will make sure to stand with the person and negate their faults. 

A person that is called to a purpose (and follows it) will see a person who fits the purpose of which they are called and serve them for as long as they continue in the purpose of the person. The main counterpoint that many of you are thinking of at this moment is "What about loyalty?" Well, loyalty is still there. I can serve someone that does not serve in the same purpose that I do because of a prior commitment to that person (i.e. job commitment, promise, etc.). What I am saying here is that we are all called to a specific purpose and we will not be satisfied until we are serving the purpose in which we are called. 

When a person is called to a purpose, we try to do everything that is within us to achieve that purpose and that even means going through changes that may look weird at first but will be better in the end. This is why I will comply with the new changes that will be implemented because in the end, it will only be better. In the end, more people will be helped through the service done by Bryan College and Engage. 

So, when you are faced with a decision in these next few weeks and months, remind yourself what your God given purpose is and then decide based on that. 

Until Next time. May God bless you all. 

Welcome to the Quarankingdom! Population: Varying

 It has been five days since I was put in quarantine. My test results have come back Negative, praise God, and I now await the day that I can leave. Since I have some friends that are also quarantined, we all naturally made a group chat to make sure we are all doing fine. We have named the group chat the Quarankingdom and we even have a Quaranqueen. We've added people to the chat as they come to quarantine and we tend to keep them there even after they get out. We plan movie nights, game nights, and alert others when food has been delivered. We have built a community even though we can not see each other's faces except through that of a screen. We take care of each other and try to build each other up. 

In this kingdom we all have a role; I am the Quaranbishop and there is the Quaranjester (has been released from Quarantine), Quaranknight, Traitor Quaranpeep (has been released from Quarantine), Quaranrook, and the Lord of the Covid at Rhea House. We try to have fun about this time of solitude and tend to talk in semi-Old English just for the heck of it. We are all going a bit stir crazy and have tried to find ways to alleviate being in a cinder block room. One has done cartwheels, another practices martial arts, another walks around the room as much as possible, and another writes, reads, and watches movies all the time. These help, but it is the people outside of this building that make sure we are doing well that make our day. 

From snack bags to window meetings to Zoom game nights, all of it is appreciated. We all only have a short amount of time left in the Quarankingdom, but it has changed us all. For better or worse, it has forced us in with our thoughts and prayers. It has also allowed us to be alone to rest and not worry too much about the outside world. Our classes are being recorded and that helps with not falling behind, though I wait for the day I can be in classes in person. 

Though I yearn to leave, I cannot leave behind the lessons that I have learned. I have learned to be silent and listen to God. I have also learned to rely and trust others and sometimes that meant to relinquish control. I have had to trust people to bring stuff that I forgot in my dorm, for food from the cafeteria, and to hold events without me being there. This lesson has taught me to slow down because not everything is going to crash and burn if I do not have my hand on it (I am good but not that good). 

Now as I finish my thoughts here, I will go back to my virtual studies and maybe a movie or two. I hope you all have a wonderful day. God Bless!